I really hope 2016 was better for you than it was for me. Like the Disney movies, I hope all your dreams came true. I hope personally, professionally, spiritually, financially, physically and mentally you are at the place you want to be. I, unfortunately, cannot say that I am. At this point in my 36 year old newly mom stage age, I’m usually passed out on New Year’s Eve by 10pm on the sofa with only 2 sips of champagne taken out of my glass and Ryan Seacrest blaring in the background. BUT, last night, I stayed up to the stroke of midnight just so I could watch 2016 die. I didn’t wish it a slow and painful death. Just a quick one that got me to where I wanted to go… 2017, WELCOME… and all the possibilities to come!
Here’s a brief snippet of my past 12 months: LIFE!!! Two teenage, bonus kid attitudes, four teenage, bonus kid eye rolls, one kid learning to drive, one kid learning to walk, a one year old who hit the terrible twos, and a husband who’s snoring got increasingly worse and more annoying with each passing night, meaning more sleepless nights for this gal here. I forgot to make son’s yearly vaccination shots. I had a year of work that literally kicked my butt, so much so that it almost tempted me to go apply as a local Wal-Mart greeter and do whatever I had to do to not go back to my office and face the problems of the next day. My mother broke her femur- not once, but twice. And did I mention I’m a stress eater? So yea, all this while buying new size pants in between carpool and extracurricular activity drop offs and pick ups! I know you had your share fare of problems this year as well… Cheers to us for surviving!
Then, there’s the other stuff of life- homicide shootings out of control in almost every city across America and across our world, the deadliest shooting in an American nightclub because someone doesn’t like homosexuals, rampant animosity against law enforcement, the Syrian refugee crisis, violent protests breaking out on every corner of major cities, brothers and sisters of different races hating each other for merely being different color crayons, a movie theatre shooting, school shootings, and then you add in the most stupid election of my generation. Someone, please pass the wine. One BIG bottle. One BIG glass. Maybe add some Xanax. Definitely add a lot of prayers.
I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I can always find positives. I have my health. In fact, I have thirty extra pounds of it. My mother is still alive to tell me how I’m raising the kids incorrectly. My children are healthy enough to stress me out, cause me to cuss, lose my religion and then make wonder me how they will survive one day in the real world as adults. My husband complains that I spend way too much money so I need a lot of girlfriend time at the local Mexican restaurant, which adds to the thirty pounds in the plus range health issue. BUT, BUT, BUT, the Cubs did win the World Series, which really did help make this year extremely memorable for me. I cried. My granny and I would watch the Cubs together when she was alive. It’s just the way of life… some years are just better than others, unless you’re Oprah and Gail or one of my dad’s dogs.
In my early twenties, finding the perfect outfit for a night on the town with girlfriends or a new date was my biggest area of stress. In my mid twenties, that stress bridged over to getting a reservation at the hottest new restaurant in whichever city I was living in, or visiting, at the time. In my late twenties, meeting deadlines for projects at work took over. In my early thirties, it became more about purchasing my first home, savings, 401ks, nesting, planning a wedding and building a home together with my new husband, two, amazing bonus children and our dog. My mid thirties, I became a mom. Wowzer… nothing prepared me for that one, not even the wine.
But, now, at 36, I feel like someone took all these areas of my past life, piled them in a truck, backed that big baby up and dumped it right on my front porch with me underneath and my hands in the air saying “Wait! Hold on! Let me find a place to put all this crap!” By nature, I like to compartmentalize. Compartmentalize life with three kids, work and a husband? Not hardly. Multitask life with three kids, work and a husband? Sometimes. Eat? Check. Drink? Check. Pray it all miraculously works out? Check.
When does one read a book? Catch up with an old friend? Learn something new like painting, Pilates or the infamous pole dancing? I tried pole dancing once at a bachelorette party in Vegas and let’s just say… I’ll stick with keeping my feet firmly planted on the floor. I looked like Winne the Pooh attempting an episode of American Ninja Warrior. Again, please pass the wine. One BIG bottle. One BIG glass.
I was reminded of a lesson in that pole dancing class, though, that is very useful in life. One word. CONFIDENCE. It’s all about confidence. I’m a lover of musical theatre and Julie Andrews sang it best when she opened her mouth and out came,
“With each step I am more certain, Everything will turn out fine. I have confidence, The world can all be mine! They’ll have to agree I have confidence in me.”
I don’t have it altogether. Don’t judge. You don’t have it altogether, either. I won’t judge. What we do have in common is the opportunity to continue to TRY and become the best versions of ourselves. That takes CONFIDENCE to accept that we cannot be all things to all people in all situations at all times of the day. Swallow hard on that one. It’s hard to accept. We have to learn to be okay with realizing we can have it all, but we cannot have it all at the same time. This gives us the opportunity to make room for what truly matters at whatever stage we are at in our lives.
What are your priorities for this year? What is really important to you? When you look back on 2017, what do you really want to have accomplished and remembered? Most importantly, what do you want to have brought a smile to you face? What do you want to be most proud of? What do you want to laugh the most about with your friends and loved ones?
As I eat my black eyed peas and cabbage today, pray to win the lottery and pray extra hard for Pfizer to create a one time pill I can swallow that gives me the body of Beyonce, I’m going to go on record and say that this year, 2017, will be a fantastic year. No matter what happens, I will remain optimistic, positive and confident. I will know that I cannot do all things, but I can do the most important things… CONNECT WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ADD VALUE TO MY LIFE. I am not defined by my sales figures at work, the meltdown my one year old had in the grocery store, the argument my husband and I had or the insecurity I am feeling because my hair won’t curl correctly. I will define myself with the good. The moments I can control. The moments that actually matter.
I may not get to the gym everyday, but I can bench press my little boy creating him to give a good belly laugh and helping my bicep muscles so I can continue to carry him around town. I can go on a run with my 15 year old bonus son so I can catch up with what’s going on in his life. We’ll have lots of time to catch up and talk as he rides with me in the ambulance to the hospital after I pass out from running to the end of the block. I can bake cookies with my 16 bonus daughter and ask her about her hopes, dreams and make sure her tongue is remaining out of some boy’s mouth that occasionally pops up on her snapchat feed. I can play a game of Cards Against Humanity with friends, creating opportunities for politically incorrect memories that will last a lifetime.
Instead of worrying about dinner reservations, my husband and I can open a great bottle of wine and make a cheese and cracker board like we did we when we first got married and were too tired to cook something after a long day. We can put the baby to bed. We can have an actual conversation. This will only work if I throw my phone in the toilet and he sits on his hands refusing to fix something around the house that is on his long list of projects/ list of to dos. Maybe we could attempt the two step in the kitchen. Neither of us know how to two step, so maybe we’ll just slow dance to Lionel Richie and make out instead.
I want to be less rushed in 2017. I want to be less anxious in 2017. I want to be less stressed in 2017. I want to pick my son up from school 30 minutes early, go to the park, and feed the ducks. I won’t be feeding them bread, though. I read this year bread is bad for ducks. Apparently, they need to be on the no white carb diet as well. I want to surprise my husband with tickets to a Tesla concert, even though I have no clue who Tesla is.
Stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and just being super busy is all apart of my life. I’m 36, a wife, mother of three, own a business, am responsible for making sure I have enough money in the bank to pay employees and plan my one year olds second birthday party. There’s only so much yoga is going to do for me. That’s okay, though. This is just a temporary stage. As long as I can continue to have a smile on my face because I am surrounded by people who make the stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation and busy days of life worthwhile, then 2017 will be a great year! I guess looking back, if that’s how I’m judging a successful year, 2016 was way more amazing than I’m giving it credit for. As always in life, it’s all a matter of perspective.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I TRULY WISH YOU THE BRAVEAUX-ish LIFE WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN 2017!
ISAIAH 43:18 “FORGET THE FORMER THINGS. DO NOT DWELL IN THE PAST.”
Make sure to check my main blog in FEBRURAY: “IS LOVE ALL YOU REALLY NEED?”
LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER, Laura
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