HOW LONG DO WOMEN HAVE TO DEFEND THEIR CHOICES AND WHY IS THIS STILL A CONVERSATION? SOCIETY… IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON WITH WOMEN DECIDING THEIR OWN FUTURE AS THE NORM EVEN IF THAT INCLUDES MARRIAGE AND B

The Joys of Marriage and Motherhood: A Celebration, Not a Requirement

When singer Chappell recently made headlines with her statement about all her married friends being miserable, it sparked a conversation that is both important and deeply personal. As women navigating careers, relationships, and life choices, we often find ourselves reflecting on what truly brings happiness.

The truth is, there is no single path to fulfillment. Some women find profound joy in marriage and motherhood, while others thrive in careers, travel, friendships, or creative pursuits. The beauty of modern womanhood is that we have the ability to choose the life that aligns with our passions and desires. That being said, let’s take a moment to celebrate the joys of marriage and motherhood—while also respecting the validity of all other choices.

The Reality of Marriage: Not Just a Fairy Tale, But a Partnership

Marriage, like any meaningful endeavor, requires effort. It is not a static institution where happiness is guaranteed simply because you’ve said, “I do.” It is a dynamic relationship that evolves, requiring love, communication, and patience. LOTS OF PATIENCE. LOTS OF GRACE. AND, HAVING A VERY SHORT MEMORY NEVER HURTS. 

Many women find marriage to be a source of unwavering support, a partnership that allows them to navigate life’s challenges with a teammate. There is immense comfort in knowing that no matter what life throws your way, you have someone in your corner. My Michael is a pain in my butt and, all you have to do is be in our presence for two minutes and you will see by his numerous eye rolls that I drive him up a wall and to a bottle of bourbon. But, HE IS MY PERSON. No matter what. He is in my corner at all times… even if we are two pigs fighting in a blanket mad at each other… HE IS MY PERSON.  A healthy marriage fosters growth, encourages dreams, and provides emotional security.

Of course, no marriage is perfect, and struggles are inevitable; however, the beauty lies in working through those challenges together. A fulfilling marriage is one where both partners uplift one another, create shared goals, and respect each other’s individuality. Michael has always let me be me. I have always let him be him. MARRIAGE HAS NOT, DOES NOT, AND WILL NOT ever change people into the people you are hoping, or wanting, them to become.

Motherhood: A Journey of Love, Learning, and Legacy

For those who choose it, motherhood is one of life’s most profound experiences. It is not simply about raising a child—it is about shaping a future, creating memories, and experiencing a love that knows no bounds. My children are my life. They are my world. When I want to give up, when I do not want to make the extra sales call, when I do not want to sit down and figure out how we are going to make the money stretch, when I do not want to be nice to the lady at the grocery store because she is being a Karen… my children are the reason I put my emotions aside and do what I know is best in the long term. My children make me think long-term, no longer just short-term. 

Motherhood teaches patience, resilience, and selflessness. It forces women to tap into strengths they never knew they had. The sleepless nights, endless worries, and constant demands are balanced by the unparalleled joy of witnessing a child’s first steps, hearing their laughter, and knowing that you are their safe space in an uncertain world.

But let’s be clear—motherhood is hard. It challenges women in ways they never expected. That doesn’t mean it isn’t rewarding; it simply means that, like any meaningful endeavor, it requires sacrifice. The key is recognizing that these sacrifices often lead to a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

The Myth of the Miserable Wife and Mother

Statements like Chappell’s can be frustrating because they paint broad strokes over a deeply personal experience. My initial thought on her comments is that she needs a broader group of friends. But, if she is being 100% truthful, which I don’t think she is, then who are these friends? I just want to find them, hug them, encourage them, and be there for them. Yes, some women in marriages and motherhood may feel unhappy, overwhelmed, or unfulfilled—but that doesn’t mean all women do. Likewise, there are single and child-free women who experience the same emotions.

The problem isn’t marriage or motherhood—it’s the societal pressure that makes women feel as though they must choose one path over another, rather than being encouraged to build lives that genuinely fulfill them. Some women were never meant to be wives or mothers, and that is perfectly okay. Their happiness is just as valid and valuable as that of a woman who thrives in her marriage and children.

Respecting All Choices

Rather than engaging in a debate over whether marriage and motherhood bring joy or misery, we should focus on a broader truth: Happiness is deeply personal. It comes from living authentically, whether that means building a family, launching a business, traveling the world, being a homesteader and raising fainting goats, eating cookies in bed while binging the first season of Law and Order, or dedicating oneself to a cause.

Instead of diminishing the joys of marriage and motherhood based on the experiences of a few, let’s celebrate all paths. If a woman finds fulfillment in her home, that should be honored. If another finds it in her career, that should be equally honored. If she finds joy in both, that should be honored. The key is recognizing that women are not a monolith—we are individuals with different dreams, ambitions, and sources of joy.

The Power of Choice

At the end of the day, the real conversation should not be about whether marriage and motherhood lead to misery, but about the power of choice. When women are free to make decisions based on their own desires rather than societal expectations, they are more likely to find fulfillment, whether that’s through family, career, adventure, or personal growth.

So, to the women who love their marriages AND motherhood—embrace it. To the women who have chosen a different path—embrace that too. Our lives should not be defined by others’ experiences but by our own unique journeys toward joy.

No matter which path you take, what truly matters is that it is one of your own choosing, filled with purpose, passion, and love.

As always, thank you for taking your precious time to read my little blog. Be kind. Be brave. And, let everything you do, be done in love.