I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine’s Day yesterday. I hope it was everything you wanted it to be spent with meaningful people in your life. I hope you were made to feel special and valued. But, mostly, I hope yesterday, and everyday, was filled with love.
Did the Beatles have it right? Is LOVE really all you need? Based on the past few weeks, and the activities going on in the world we live in, I sure hope so. Many days in the past six weeks of 2017, I’ve buried my head thinking love was missing from a lot going in the world. Passion sure isn’t missing – passion in protesting, passion in persisting and resisting, passion in refusing to listen to others, passion in not agreeing to just disagree, passion in yelling, name calling, and bullying, and passion in blaming others instead of fixing problems. But, as I was reminded last week when tornados swept thru my city of New Orleans, even in diverse, passionate differences, love is found.
I love many things. Besides the obvious, like my family and friends, I love lemon ice box pie, front porch swings, Carolina beach music, Mardi Gras, a great fitting pair of jeans, my children’s laughs, seafood gumbo, a man in a uniform, and a beautiful blue sky. These are inexpensive things to LOVE.
I also love to pay my mortgage, car note, insurance, other bills, and put money in savings and investments. I love to travel. I love going to sporting events and concerts. I love being able to have my children be involved in activities they want to experience and pursue. I love dining out for hours on a Saturday night with friends. These things are expensive. They require more than love.
What exactly is love? In Buddhism, love involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish love for others. UNSELFISH LOVE FOR OTHERS. CHECK.
The Christian view of love is God is love. Most Christians believe that the greatest commandment is the first commandment “thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength”. The second commandment tells us, “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”. LOVE GOD AND LOVE OTHERS AS MYSELF. CHECK.
Hindu’s also believe “God is love”. LOVE in Hinduism, the world’s oldest religion, is a sacrament. It preaches that one gives up selfishness in love, not expecting anything in return. LOVE GOD WITHOUT ANYTHING IN RETURN? THAT COULD BE A TOUGH ONE. CHECK.
If you are a follower of Islam, then you know the prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: “You will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another.” LOVE ONE ANOTHER. CHECK. BUT, ONLY IF THEY THINK LIKE I DO, LAUGH AT MY JOKES AND COMPLIMENT ME ON MY NEW DRESS. DOUBLE CHECK.
In Judaism, one of the core commandments is “Love your neighbor as yourself”. This commandment stands at the center of the central book in the Torah. LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME? EASY PEASY. I’M SO EASY TO LOVE. CHECK. CHECK. CHECK.
If you do not look to religion for your definition of love, according to Webster’s dictionary love is defined as a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another. CONSTANT AFFECTION AND DEDICATION. Constant? That’s definitely going to be tough. It’s not always easy for me to be constant in my love with certain people, especially those Grammy voters. I mean, seriously, how could Bieber have not won anything Sunday night? It was all about Queen Bey and Adele and I’m like, “HELLO??? Did y’all not listen to Bieber’s album??? Yea, neither did I.”
Let me tell you my definition of love by telling you what I think life is like without love. I think people without love are like airplanes sitting on a runway without fuel. They can fly but they’ll never get off the ground. LOVE IS MY FUEL. Love is the constant reminder to myself that life is not about me. It is about something bigger, something better.
I am in sales for the most part of my professional day. Sales is a great profession. But, you have to have great tenacity and thick skin in order to survive in commission based only sales. It’s an entirely different beast because it gives one an entirely different perspective on how they react to situations that arise throughout the day. (Remember, last month’s post… it’s all about perspective!) I get beat up on regularly. When my clients do not hear the answers they want to hear, I get called every name in the book. That’s a tough situation to be in when “the customer is always right”! I have to forge through because I have to get the signature on the dotted line in order to pay my mortgage. Here’s why I do it. MONEY. If you’re on a moral high ground and shocked at my response, please let me get you a ladder and help you down back to reality. You go to work for a paycheck as well; however, money is enough to get me through the really, really, really, hard times at work. It’s not worth it. But, LOVE is.
Not love for my customers, my product, my profession, or myself, and, by the way, I love all of those mentioned, especially the latter. But, I really do it because my children depend on my husband and I to take unprofessional moments and turn them into commission checks. When I want to fight back with a client, cry, hang up the phone in the middle of their frustration, or tell them they are flat out wrong, I don’t. I have people depending on me, so I do not have that luxury. Love does not pay my bills; however, it is my motivation to make sure there is always a roof over three little heads, even if two of those heads are eye rolling teens and one is a toddler whose favorite word is currently “NO!” Love gives me the boldness, and confidence, to take a breath, regroup, and let things go in one ear and out the other- the majority of the time. I am human. Sometimes, LOVE only goes so far.
When I was younger, I had a very special person in my life. I always referred to her as my “New Orleans Grandma”. Her name was Mrs. Rowena. She babysat me a lot. She took great care of me, loved me as her own, prayed for me, and always made time for me. But, she wasn’t that way with just me. Mrs. Rowena was the type of lady that offered help to others, not advice or preaching. She offered encouragement, not judgement. She offered kindness, not ridicule or embarrassment. If you were hungry, she fed you. If you needed to talk, she gave you her ear. If you needed help packing, she gave you her time. If you needed to cry, she gave you her shoulder. Mrs. Rowena was not rich, highly educated, a person of power, political, or known by thousands. But, when she died, she had a sanctuary room full people whom she had touched and who had felt her love. To this day, when I think of her, I think of love. It is impossible to separate her from that word. Love was always in her actions. What a great legacy to leave the world!
Love allowed her to be kind in her actions. It allowed her to be bold in her faith. Love allowed her to be unique. Love allowed her to be graceful and thankful. Love allowed her to be content and live in the moment, yet determined to always hope for better. Love allowed her to spend her life being her- never trying to be anyone else or trying to keep up with anyone else. She knew God made her to be her. She loved the person God made her to be.
With our diverse religious, political, economic, educational, NFL team loyalties or favorite girl scout cookie backgrounds, have we reached a point in our society where we literally cannot like, much less love, those that believe differently from us? Instead of REACTING to everything we don’t like, maybe we could TAKE ACTION on things that would ACTUALLY make the world a better place- a loving smile to everyone who passes you, not flipping someone the bird because they cut you off in traffic, respect and love for others even if they do not respect or love you in return, confidence and love in ourselves, a helping hand to an elderly person carrying groceries, a look of understanding to a mom who’s toddler is having a tantrum in the restaurant instead of giving her a rude stare because she’s ruining your meal, taking cookies to a neighbor you’ve never met, or giving encouragement, instead of criticism, to your significant other?
In all five religions listed earlier in this writing, they all spoke of LOVE. Every single one of them have some form of love at the core of their practice. The definition of love is constant affection and dedication. I fail miserably at loving constantly. Love is not easy to give all the time. Love is not easy to receive all the time. But, we need to give love, and receive love, more than anything else we do in our lives. Love connects us, teaches us, forgives us, motivates us, reforms us, supports us, focuses us, and allows us to grow to be our best possible selves, so we can then in turn be the best for others.
Maybe it really is that simple. Maybe we, as society, have overcomplicated love because we feel agreement and respect are held in the same category. Maybe we can love others, but not respect their actions or agree with their beliefs – don’t faint- I know it’s a crazy thought.! LOVE. Love is the base, the fuel, the driving force everything worthwhile. Love for yourself, your beliefs, your fellowman, and your surroundings. “All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.” I agree, John and Sir Paul. I agree.
“Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
Laissez les bon temps rouler, Laura
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